Reflections on Vietnam - Part 2 - Packing

I know there are lots of people headed over to Vietnam soon - I hope this helps. I'm not going to post a packing list. I'd prefer to post what I didn't always see on most circulated lists that was helpful to me.

What I'm glad I brought with me:

* a husband who doesn't mind carrying heavy things, going shopping or carrying his baby in the Bjorn - even when the Vietnamese questioned his masculinity for holding a baby (he was told it was women's work)

Ok so you can't buy a husband like that so here's what you can BUY for your trip:

*** American made diapers for airplane travel and outings (pack at least 40)
* Diaper doublers - they function as diaper liners. It allows you to pull them out when they get wet and you still have a clean diaper underneath. Since there are absolutely NO changing tables in Vietnam, this makes it super easy to "change" a diaper in public (or you can always just use the sofa at the reception area of the mall management office to change a diaper while you are asking a random questions to distract them from what you are really doing- that's what Santosh did!)
* Pain relievers - we had prescription pain pills (didn't need them but others did)
* Immodium (didn't need it but others in the group needed it)
* Powdered Gatorade for dehydration (bought at REI)
* Powdered Pedialyte for Kieran
*** Infant Motrin with syringe (Tylenol is not very effective but I think you can only give babies older than 6 months Motrin so you may have to use Tylenol anyway)
*** Orajel teething gel (lifesaver for us since Kieran got FOUR teeth in the first week we were in Vietnam)
*** Teething tablets (Humphreys makes some - bought at Walgreens)
*** Cool Max clothes that we could wash ourselves (Cotton does not dry in the humidity there)
*** Bug repellent (also pack some of the bug repellent wipes - they are so easy to carry and you will need them at some point)
* Power bars (not always possible for us to eat when Kieran was sick or we were at the Sandy beach and food options were very limited.)
* Comfortable but dressier shoes such as ballet flats for the giving and receiving and going to dinner. It's hard to pack dressy shoes for a very casual trip like this. These were so light and easy to walk in.
* Dish rag and bottle brush (I was ALWAYS cleaning bottles and nipples.) We had 3 Playtex bottles and 140 liners plus 2 Dr. Brown's bottles and the mini bottle the orphanage gave us
* Purell and germ spray (I believe obsessive handwashing is the reason we never got sick. I rarely needed the Purell but if a sink wasn't nearby - I would have)
* Light rain jacket that folded into a small bag. It can rain frequently and when it does, the downpours are very heavy. These were easy to pack and, as you can see in one of our earlier posts, Santosh was able to wear the Bjorn and put his rain anorak over that so Kieran's face stuck out and his body stayed dry
* Immersion heater - All rooms have a kettle but if you need a rolling boil to sterilize - the kettle is not going to do that. Bottled water is not sterile water. Oops! We didn't realize that until we were home. Glad I didn't know this when I was in Vietnam - I avoided all the guilt since Kieran ended up surviving on bottled water.
* Backpack that Santosh and I alternated wearing the day
* Baby carrier - We had the new Baby Bjorn Air Carrier - it's much cooler than the regular Bjorn. However, Kieran was almost 18 pounds and we both felt this Bjorn was tough on our backs. I've seen the Ergo carrier and it seems like it would be better because of the strap around the hip to more evenly distribute the babies weight. For younger babies - the summer Bjorn might work out well.
*Sleep sack for Kieran (can get light cotton sleep saks at Baby's R Us. Don't take heavy fleece version even in cold weather since it might not dry if you need to wash it)
*Light baby blankets for the plane
*Baby sweater in a neutral color (you'll only need one if you go in the warmer months)
*Baby nail clippers and nail file
*Small teething toys (though Kieran much preferred electrical wires such as the computer cable!)
* 3 Cloth diapers and small cloths for spit up and small messes
* Bubble wrap for packing delicate items and a small scissor with Scotch tape

What I wish I had packed:

*** Dosage chart for baby meds like Benadryl and Tylenol - it's not on the package
*** More baby food - especially vegetables (Gerber has plastic containers that travel well.) I never saw veggie baby food - only fruit. Veggies are best as a first food so I was glad I had a few. Take some prunes too just in case (don't bother with banana baby food - you can always mash one there.)
* Eucerin calming cream (for eczema) Kieran didn't have eczema until we came home but other babies did
* Oatmeal - Rice cereal didn't fill Kieran up. Oatmeal would have cut down on how often we had to feed him and how many times he woke up at night
* one 4 oz baby bottle - especially if you have a younger baby. Kieran ate very little at one time and always needed a little bit of formula in order to go to sleep
* Larger sized deodorant and hair products (you can get shampoo there but not many other styling products like hair spray. I didn't realize we'd be showering several times a day so my sample size items didn't last very long)
* more ziploc bags. I packed a lot but it wasn't enough


What I didn't need:

* Feety pajamas - who knew Kieran would have Hobbit feet (Santosh thinks they are Hobbit feet. Personally, I think they are more like Flinstone feet - completely square and HUGE) There's not a pair of feety pjs anywhere that would fit him (or shoes for that matter.)
* Baby Banz - yeah - I bought expensive sunglasses for Kieran. As if he'd actually wear them. . .
* Video camera - its nice to have but you can use a digital camera for most of what you need. Unless you are really into video - just get a digital camera that takes video - it works well enough and is easier to carry than a video camera.
* Baby Shoes - we didn't pack any but you can easily buy them there if you need them
* Baby washcloths - I heard they didn't have face cloths but we did have them at every hotel
* Lots of toys - we brought small teething toys and a small mirror (Kieran loved that!) Don't pack too many though
* Sneakers - way too bulky and it was too hot (and then I wouldn't have needed socks either) * lots of the meds I packed were not used but I guess we were just lucky * baby shampoo, baby powder- easy/cheap to get there * scabies creams (I'd still recommend taking this though) * lice treatments * antibiotics (you probably should see a dr over there if you are sick enough to need them.)
* Books, magazines (never had a spare moment and when I did, I was too tired to read.)

Supplies we bought when we settled back in HCMC (after trip to Danang)

* pot to boil water (use with immersion heater)
* big plastic basin at Saigon Tax market for giving Kieran a bath and for washing clothes
* extra suitcase (Business Class tickets gave us extra baggage allowance so we packed the basin and pot to take with us from HCMC to Hanoi) We ditched the stuff in Hanoi before we left
* walker for Kieran. It was the only way to occupy him without carrying him. For a child who insists on constant motion - we had already worn out the carpet walking him back and forth. We bought it at the totally shady market behind the Horison hotel. These walkers are relatively unsafe and this didn't even attempt to meet any safety standards but we got it anyway. Since we had a bedroom and living room at the Horison Hotel, Kieran could use the walker in the living room and we didn't really have too many safety issues to worry about. Unless, of course, you count the electrical outlet holes that are round and the same size as the finger tip of a 7 month old. Maybe putting some tape over those outlets would help if you have a child who becomes fascinated with them.

Hope this helps some of you who are headed over to Vietnam soon. Have a wonderful trip and remember - you can get most things over in Vietnam if you happen to forget something.

Been there, Done that (and he's only 9 months old!)

Well it's been a pretty rough week for us. Kieran has had an ear infection and was pretty unhappy. Luckily we already had our checkup scheduled with the pediatrician. I suspected something was wrong because he was unusually fussy but he had no other symptoms so I'm glad the dr caught the infection. Otherwise he seems to be doing well. The pediatrician was nice enough I suppose and I was very happy to hear that Kieran is growing very well.

When he saw the dr for his checkup while we were in Vietnam in early August, we were able to get his height and weight so we can at least see how much he's grown since then. Prior to Kieran's official physical in Vietnam, the only weight info we had was what Santosh got when the spa manager and bartender at the Sandy Beach Hotel helped him weigh Kieran on the chef's vegetable scale so I knew how to figure out the dogase for his medicine.

I was a little disappointed with our new pediatrician's opinions on vaccines ("Load him up with all of them and let's redo everything he already had just to be safe.") Yeah - that was not exactly comforting to me since vaccines are not risk free. For now, we will have to evaluate which vaccines he needs and take it from there. I understand where he's coming from but the risks of Kieran contracting many of these diseases can be one in a million. The chances of a side effect or (dare we say) autism are better than one in 100. Easy decision for us - hold off on vaccines for now - especially since Kieran is not in day care.

Sadly, Kieran's ability and motivation to wave has come and gone. It's a serious case of Been There, Done That (BTDT.) I guess he didn't enjoy it as much as we had hoped. Of course waving is Durban's signature trick. He knows how much we love it so he does it constantly to get a treat from us. (A few times he has actually waved to us while we were encouraging Kieran.) So when we encourage Kieran to wave good bye, Durban steals the show by waving his paw up and down.

Kieran has now moved on to clapping and he never really stops. He will crawl a bit, stop, sit, turn around and clap for himself and then keep crawling. It's as if he is encouraging and applauding himself. Maybe it's a suggestion that we are not excited enough. The other day he was crying AND clapping at the same time. No smile of course - just clapping. Kieran takes no requests. He smiles when he wants and very few things beyond my mother's silly songs and my fake sneezes can cause a smile.

We're finally getting into a routine and Durban is getting daily walks again. Kieran is liking his new stroller but sits forward and has such a tight grip on the handles that he isn't really relaxed at all. So much for him falling asleep in there.

We're loving our music classes and Kieran is doing extremely well. . . I think he's literally licked more instruments than any other child in class. So I guess there have been no signs of a musical prodigy. . . . . . .yet.

Reflections on Vietnam Part 1 - Weather and Food

Well we've been home just over 5 weeks. I wanted to post some info for our trip for anyone who is headed to Vietnam soon. I can't seem to find the time to do it all at once so I'll break it into segments. This post might not be of much interest to anyone not planning a trip to Vietnam.

Part 1 - Weather and Food

WEATHER
It really is really important to keep in mind how brutally hot and humid it is in Vietnam during the summer months. In the U.S. people always say,

"It's hot in here. I mean really hot . . . Africa hot actually."

This is meant to imply it couldn't possibly get any hotter. This was clearly spoken by people who have never been to Hanoi. The weather in Africa isn't that bad so the phrase should be:

"It's hot, really hot . . Hanoi hot. "

To acclimate yourself, I'd suggest holding a pan of boiling water under your chin so you really experience the steam. Then stick your head in the oven when it's on Broil. That's almost as hot as Hanoi will be in the summer. . . almost.

We had spent a few days in Bangkok before arriving in Vietnam. Bangkok was about as hot and humid as Hanoi. Ho Chi Minh was a little cooler. I think you really have to have Cool max clothes in order to keep any sanity. This is not just for people who are heat intolerant by the way. 100% cotton will not only hold onto the sweat - it will never dry. I spent hours trying to dry a t-shirt with the hair dryer at the Sandy Beach hotel. It was impossible to really dry anything in such a humid climate.

I hear a lot of adoptive parents say they will put their baby in long pants and long sleeves to avoid comments from the Vietnamese about how you should bundle your child. These babies get heat rash very easily. We kept Kieran in very light weight clothes - mostly onesies and shorts. Very few people commented (and I really was more concerned with his comfort than comments from the Vietnamese.) We picked Kieran up from the orphanage with heat rash and it was a struggle to get rid of it.

Air conditioning was much easier to find in Ho Chi Minh City than Hanoi. Luxury hotels have A/C throughout the hotel. Taxis almost always have A/C but don't really put it on very high. If you get in the taxi with a baby - they will sometimes refuse to put the A/C on for you. I'd suggest having one person sit in the front so you can control the A/C. Once we did this - it was much more pleasant.

** If you have a room where the A/C goes off as soon as you take the key out of the slot and leave the hotel room - get a second key card and leave it in there so the A/C stay on. (Or just use any other hotel key - they all work to keep the electricity on.)

** If there is a remote for the A/C (like there was at the Sandy Beach hotel) LOCK IT IN THE SAFE when you leave so the housekeeping staff won't turn it off when you are gone. (The units are too high for anyone to access without the remote.)

Most restaurants (outside of those in the hotels) say they have A/C but it could be just a fan or a small unit that would probably be best suited to cool off a linen closet rather than a restaurant that has a hot kitchen making it worse. Sandy Beach did not have A/C except in the rooms. Even their small gym didn't have any A/C. The Duxton was fine and so was the Horison. The Vietnamese don't seem all that bothered by the heat so I think it just doesn't occur to them that we are really struggling with the heat.

FOOD
Like any city, there is good and bad food. The language barrier and the difference in food preferences that you have as an American mean you really have to plan where you will eat. There are great places to eat so ask the concierge for help or take notes from blogs when people mention a restaurant. Call ahead to make sure they can seat you inside. Ask for non smoking if you want that but they rarely accommodate that. I'll list my favorite places and scan in their cards if I can in a few days. We had some really good meals and all of them were based on recommendations. We had very little luck when we chose restaurants on our own.

If you are a vegetarian - you're pretty much going to have to realize that it's unlikely you will avoid meat altogether. Everything has pork. I was waiting to see pork juice at the breakfast buffet - that's how much they love it! Even if an item on the menu says "rice with vegetables" don't assume it doesn't have pork. If it says vanilla ice cream on the desert menu - ask if it has pork. Ok, I'm kidding about that but seriously - if it's important to you - be careful.

Vietnamese menus often stress the starch in the meal and leave out info on the protein (unlike U.S. menus.) Might I also suggest you don't phrase it like "Is there pork in here?" The answer will be yes. If you asked if there was cow dung in there, they'd answer yes too. It's not that they want to be rude at all - they just don't really know what you are asking or why you are asking. They want you to be happy and saying yes to everything seems to be in their customer service manual somewhere under "Is there one response that I can use for every question so I don't have to read the rest of this manual?" Ask the concierge to write out that you are vegetarian so the waiters understand what you require.

When we were in Danang, staying away from meat was really easy - that's of course because we stayed away from almost all food at the Sandy Beach Resort. Fish and meat are put outside for the buffet at 4pm in the heat and left there until the buffet closes at night. If you have to eat their food at the buffet - go early when they first put it outside! Santosh ate some shrimp and his face swelled up (and he has no allergies to shellfish or seafood either.)

I have heard some people say the food there was good. All I can think of was that they were there for the semi annual delivery of fresh food and that they were still serving those leftovers months later when we were there! We saw the same slice of cake in the display window every morning. That one lonely slice was not going anywhere until they found someone to eat it. Eat as much as you can at the breakfast buffet and that will keep you going during the day. We supplemented this 'Sandy Beach diet' with a yogurt we'd bring back to the room and a Toblerone chocolate bar every day. (But beware that there is not chocolate in Danang so get it before you go.) We lost a lot of weight while in Danang.

Hotel food at the Horison and the Duxton was pretty good. We didn't eat anything off of the street. There are restaurants that have Western style food. Some of them, such as The Green Tangerine in Hanoi, are probably as good as the fine restaurants you'd find in major cities in the US. Be prepared to pay a lot (relatively) for this kind of food though. It was $55 for both of us to eat there (no alcohol) compared to under $10 for local places. (We thought it was well worth it though.)

I'll post next about packing for the trip and shopping in Vietnam.

Always on the go

Kieran is adjusting well to life in Atlanta. Luckily it hasn't been too hot. Durban is still very good with Kieran other than occasional barking that wakes Kieran up. Just about everything wakes him up though. I can say with some certainty that this kid has pretty good hearing. Every tiny noise keeps him from sleeping or wakes him up. I'm trying to desensitize him to it but it's tough.

Naps are still an issue - it takes about an hour for him to fall asleep and then he naps for an hour or until there is any slight noise - whichever comes first!

Well, off to give the little guy a hair cut. I love how spikey it is on top but it can start to look like a mullet when the back gets too long. For some reason - the sides don't seem to grow as fast!

Back in Atlanta

Well, we're home! (Well, kind of. Santosh is already back in Detroit but we did overlap for a day.) Santosh had the 15 hour drive with Durban on Saturday and I had the 2 and1/2 hour flight with Kieran on Monday. Santosh thinks he had the better deal and I think he was right. Kieran is fine in crowds but 3 hours of staring at the back of people's heads is not quite enough stimulation for him.

We knew he was capable of crying for the entire flight since he had built up quite a bit of stamina crying for 18 hours on the way home from Bangkok. It's been a month but the kid's still got it!

At the end of the flight as we were waiting to exit the plane, Kieran was all smiles and jumping on his seat. Several people said, "NOW you're quiet? Figures!" I didn't blame them at all - I was thinking the same thing. He had bouts of good behavior but they never lasted too long. Everyone was so nice to us. I could see them staring and shaking their heads but they looked sympathetic when I caught their eye.

One guy moved his seat as soon the moment the seat belt light went off. I didn't mind - he had on too much cologne. So I now Kieran's special talents include hair removal (he specializes in pullling out the hair on your head but he's also adept at removing chest hair too according to Santosh and my dad.) His other talent include getting mom and dad lots of space on airplanes (he doesn't realize that 5 minutes of screaming is all it would take to get people to move to the back of the plane. The other 2 hours were not getting us anything.)

Kieran seems to like his new crib but is not liking the exersaucer we have here. He loved the one my mom had. Ours is like a Jeep with a plastic cell phone, keys, a compass, etc. Seems pretty cool to me but he is not thrilled about getting into it. He also doesn't like the pack n play. I'm not sure I get it either. This one has a vibrate function where the whole thing shakes. How is that soothing? It also has playtime music, white noise buttons and nature noises. Today it was stuck on crickets chirping for 15 minutes. Kieran doesn't seem to care about them anyway so we'll probably skip the bonus features for now.

Kieran has stopped grunting between bites of oatmeal. He's a little less demanding but only when it comes to food. He still prefers to be carried all day long and that's a tough thing to do with three staircases in the house.

Not too much else going on.

Finally going home

I finally head back to Atlanta tomorrow with Kieran. Santosh and Durban are already home. They drove 15 hours yesterday and arrived in the middle of the night. Durban slept all day because, of course, he looks out the window for the entire trip. You'd think that once it was dark and all he could see was the highway, he'd take a rest. He's just so obsessed with being in the car that he wants to enjoy every moment!

I wanted to post some photos of Durban because he's just the best dog ever. We've been so impressed with how he's handled Kieran joining our family.

I have been typing a post about our trip to Vietnam and would like to scan in the business cards from the restaurants and shops that we liked. I thought I'd be done but it will probably take another week to complete that.

Flipping us the bird/He really does bite

We originally thought this was a sweet picture (top photo). Then Santosh zoomed in (bottom photo) and realized that Kieran appears to be giving him the finger.

While I'm half bald (from Kieran's obsession with ripping out my hair,) frequently bitten and bruised, I have little photographic evidence. However, most of Santosh's injuries are captured on film.

A friend of the family came over 2 weeks ago to take some photos of all of us. The photos leading up to it are amusing too. They show Santosh allowing Kieran to play with his finger and then . . . CHOMP!!! (For those of you who think he's gumming Santosh's finger - think again. Kieran has SIX teeth and they are very sharp.

Remember my previous post entitled, "Careful, he bites?" At the time, it was something we said to keep the Vietnamese from kissing Kieran and sometimes poking at him too much. Sometimes, he'd fall asleep while in the Baby Bjorn and people would still grab his legs or kiss him. We were desperate to make them stop so we warned everyone that he bites. Well, it turns out he does. Who knew?

Kieran's first bottle of wine

We're headed back to Atlanta this weekend. We will really miss NY and being with my parents. However, I am excited to get back home and get into a routine. I also need to wear new clothes. I packed very few things for the trip to Vietnam (very unlike me) but now I've been stuck with those things for 2 months rather than 3 weeks as planned.

Durban will miss having a big yard to play in but he needs to get back to regular walks and seeing his friends too! He usually has play dates with another Wheaten and a cute golden doodle down the street - I bet he misses them. Kieran starts Music Together classes as soon as we get back. He's trying to get a leg up on the competition so he's practicing clapping his hands.

Kieran is sleeping better but we aren't in the clear yet. I'm sure there will be some further adjustments once we get back to Atlanta and he has to get used to a new crib. We bought another baby blanket just like the one my mom has here for Kieran. It's a super soft blanket from Pottery Barn kids. I highly recommend it - Kieran snuggles with it all the time.

Jeff, one of the parents from our travel group, is very sick - possible something he caught while in Vietnam. We are all wishing him well and a speedy recovery. Also hope Brenda is doing OK - life must be a bit chaotic to say the least.

So onto the wine story . . . Well obviously he didn't drink it. (Though I'm sure he'd like to. Kieran's already made a few moves on my dad's gin sitting on the coffee table at night.) On Monday, Santosh and I found a wine refrigerator for my parents that they needed. While Santosh was installing it, my mom was watching him and holding Kieran.

Never one to miss a chance to be noticed, Kieran reached behind her and swung his arm at the counter in the butlers pantry where all the wine was temporarily lined up. At least he has cheap taste - he passed up all the very expensive wine bottles and knocked over a bottle that my mom said she bought at Costco. Of course it was red wine though. Of course! So instead of having a nice early dinner, we spent over an hour cleaning it up.

Kieran of course was put in the exersaucer until we could get the glass picked up. He can usually stay out of trouble in there. . . BUT - I swear they should call those exersaucer's Poop generators. Not once has he gone in that thing and completely filled up his diaper. Oh and of course all he does in there is jump. Are you grasping now why it often becomes a problem?

I'm hoping he will be a fairly easy baby to potty train. It's not because he's so agreeable or tries to make my life easy. You've read enough of this blog to see that wasn't where I was going. It's because he fires off a few loud and aromatic 'warning shots' before he poops so I think we'll be able to tell what he has planned for the next few minutes and help him figure out a better place to go than his diaper. I guess we've got time. Something tells me that crawling and walking early has no correlation to potty training but who knows.

I'm working on a post about our trip to Vietnam. Lots of families who are headed over there soon to adopt are asking questions about what to pack and what the trip is like. I spent a lot of time researching all of that so I hope I can help. Also - if any of you headed to Vietnam are not looking forward to a steady diet of pineapple and Toblerone chocolate bars that I was on most of the time, I'll mention some of the better places to eat as well. Still, make sure you don't head out to one of the more remote areas without chocolate - you cannot get it everywhere. This was a serious concern but luckily we had the necessary rations to get us through.

Table Manners are next on the agenda!

Ok, so while I think the orphanage did a wonderful job with Kieran, perhaps a lesson on table manners should be added to their curriculum (or perhaps to ours!)

All of a sudden, Kieran started grunting while he eats. Even when we rush to get the food in as fast as possible, he grunts and pounds his fists.

At the end of the video, he really looks like he's going to let Santosh have it if he doesn't hurry up with the oatmeal. I think we were guilty of laughing when he first did it and now he is just going to keep it up if he get a reaction.

We're not posting on You tube because I don't think it can be deleted. I'd hate for this to resurface when he's running for political office or applying to an eating club at Princeton University.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE SOUND ON TO WATCH THIS